Friday, April 23, 2010

So who is CJ?

Well, I wish I knew. Do any of us know who we are after getting this diagnosis? Everything I ever knew about myself went out the window. I "am" what I do -- and now I don't DO anything. So, who the heck am I?

I was a wife -- I am still married, but I am not a wife. No, not really anymore. And that is a pain that goes so deep and hurts so, so very much. I was a mother -- well, that one is a crap shoot because I am going thru the empty nest syndrome. But, if they were here and younger I sure the heck would not be the mother that I was. The over involved mother, but in a good way!! Honestly, the girl scout and boy scout leader, the home room mother, the PTA volunteer (who never said "No" to anything), the Sunday school teacher, the VBS coordinator, the auction chairperson, the Children's Council chairperson, the Special Education representative, the founder of the parent support group for Special Educ., the Odyssey of the Mind coach(3 out of 5 years taking them to "Worlds"), the PG Food Unchair(I refused to take on another chairperson title, I was just going to help--HA!)--in other words "Super Mom". A title I relished and felt privileged and so very lucky (since I did not have to work outside the home) to have.

I knew that job of super mom would pretty much end when the kids finished college. But, I had made plans for that. I wanted to teach Sunday school again-- how I loved those second graders. I wanted to continue my work with Special Education. I wanted to more with the gifted children group. I wanted to get a part time job -- doing what, I wasn't sure, but I was going to find something! I wanted to travel with my husband. I wanted to do scrapbooking of some 25 odd years of pictures.

"Life is what happens when you are making other plans." John Lennon

Yeah, life is what happened...

More -- later,
me
CJ

1 comment:

  1. It sounds like we had similar years with the kids, or in my case, one daughter. I didn't work and only did real estate as a hobby until I got divorced. I was supermom too. I had my daughter in private school and was on every committee under the sun. Assistance League...you name it. Then the hammer dropped. You don't have to say but still married but not a wife? If that's too personal I'll understand but here if you want to talk. My daughter is getting married and I definitely feel the empty nest. Now it's just me and I'm with this fricking illness. By the way...the comment really made me smile!!!!!!!!!!!!

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